(photo: http://kaenith.tumblr.com/)
Morrigan Harker
CW: Contains strong language, references to sex, and acephobic comments.
If I am broken,
It is not because of
Who I have always been.
My crown of
Amethyst,
Silver,
Diamond,
And obsidian
Ought to be seen,
No longer a
Queen in exile.
If I am broken,
It is from
Being a lioness
In a barbed cage
Without my Pride.
I grew up in a turbulent haze
Of ignorance and confusion;
Did I really
“Just need to find
The Right Person”,
When even my fan crushes
Didn’t get as much as
An erotic self-insert fan fiction
As an ode to their perfection?
Even Aragorn is
A travel companion,
A brother-in-arms,
A guide and mentor,
A kindred spirit—
That bond is nothing more,
But is it really “less”?
I don’t think so.
Sex does not need love.
Love does not need sex.
I just don’t have sex
With people I love;
That does not make
The love I feel
Any “less”,
And all I want now is pride.
Of course, in our world
Of late-night cable and twerking celebrities,
I am reminded
Every
Single
Fucking
Day
That I am the minority.
So I put up my hood
To hide my crown,
And ride out the microaggressions
Made in jest or ignorance,
A queen in exile
Learning what people say
When they think she’s not around.
I can’t blame people—
I didn’t even know
Asexuality existed
Until about four years ago—
But some days the pain
Of invalidation and misunderstanding
Festers to the surface.
People have committed murder
Locked in the binds of passion and lust,
And they have the audacity to imply
I’m the one that needs to be “fixed”?
As if I need
Yet another reason
To feel like an outsider!
I am not proud of feeling this way,
But is it really such an affront
To only want to have pride?
If there ever were a time
I could feel the rapture of passion,
It would be the moments
Fraught with magickal tension—
A pen making the first stroke on paper,
Electric fingers hovering over piano keys,
The charged breath before lifting a microphone—
A thrilling trance that
Robs me of my senses,
All awareness of space and time,
Even the memory to breathe—
If that is the passion
I am to have in this life,
Then I am more than satisfied.
If creativity and art were a religion,
Then I am a priestess
Eternally married to Inspiration,
Crowned in amethyst,
Silver,
Diamond,
Obsidian,
And my pride.
American Twilight